Dating Tips for Men

Chris Illuminati
Relationship Correspondeant
Early Monday

Be a man
Women want a man. As much as they claim to want guys in touch with their feelings or the glamour boys they see as contestants on The Bachelorette, they really want someone to protect them and to be in control. This starts with your attitude and appearance. Look like a man. Wear shirts cut to fit your build. Use lifts to appear taller. Get a real haircut and leave it your natural color. Bring back some of the old-school acts of chivalry that made men; open a door, buy flowers and compliment her because you mean it. And don't be shy to talk about the manly things you do, like fixing sinks and shooting birds.

Speak without saying a word
Learn to control your nonverbal cues; they often give you away long before you even say “Want to grab lunch?” to a woman. Keep heavy (borderline uncomfortable) eye contact. Speak when only there is little alternative. Learn to say things that are vague. Answer a woman’s question with a question. Make every action deliberate and noticeable, almost in slow motion. Talk in short sentences. Don’t say too much. Don’t give away too much.

Give backhanded compliments
Notice that throughout all of their conversations with women, the Sterling Cooper crew makes jokes veiled in a bit of truth. They like to hand out compliments to women like tag lines to commercials, but always find a way to knock the women back to earth. The key to the Mad Men strategy is to build her up, and occasionally knock her back down. Say something rude and then something nice as a follow-up. Become a master of the backhanded compliment. It’s actually a well-known move in pickup artist circles, so you’ll be playing the game with the best of them.

Initiate physical contact
Whether you’re leaning in to light a cigarette, playfully tapping her on the arm, rubbing her shoulder, or picking a phantom piece of lint off her sweater, think of any reason to initiate physical contact. The simple touch was much more taboo and seductive in the times of less skin and more layers, but it’s still a nonverbal indicator to display affection while also gauging the interest of the opposite sex. Find different reasons to touch a woman in social and public situations. Don’t make it too long or too inappropriate, and gauge her reaction.